Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Salvation
The only way to conquer loneliness is not to kill it but to live with it. Why fight something that may actually give you your sanity back?
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
8:42 PM
Together by Krystal Meyers
We all long to belong
We all need to be needed
Loneliness is our disease
Still we bite the hand that feeds
Where did we go wrong
Insecure and self-sufficient
Building up walls instead of bridges
Let our lonely hearts collide
We're made to live this life
Together
Together
Reach across this great divide
Cuz standing side by side is better
Together
All the pride we defend
Teaches us to pretend
Like we can make it on our own
But we were never made to walk alone
Let the lines between us disappear
It starts now
It starts here
Yeah
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
8:40 PM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sigh
I feel alone. I watch the world go by in slow motion and wished it passed faster. I see people's happy moments go by without cherishing them and i see others crying for a loss that can't be recovered. I am neither. I'm just the watcher.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
3:40 AM
Frozen
I am awaken rudely by an unwanted phone call. It sent a sharp pierce into my heart. I feel it freezing once again. I think we have swapped places. I'm the cold one now. The irony of life. I stand alone once again.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
3:37 AM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I Just Don't Love You No More - Craig David
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.
[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
2:59 AM
Over You - Chris Daughtry
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
2:56 AM
Sorry
Sorry i haven't visited you Ah Kong. It's not that i don't want to. It's just that i can't bring myself to. I haven't forgotten your long WW2 talks and i always knew that i would miss it one day. I miss you and i'll take good care of Ah ma. Love You.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
2:45 AM
Glass Heart and Loneliness
Heartbreaks and heartaches... must we have them in our lives to make the living experience complete? I've been through one heartache (Martin) and one heartbreak (Chris) so am i done with my share of the world's pain? Admittedly i always sound like i ignore the fact that there are greater pains out there like starvation and diseases but i guess that people are narcissistic by nature so that explains it. I see people suffering because of relationships but many still dive head in into one. Are we afraid of loneliness or afraid of being laughed by society for not have another half? For me, i'd say i'm afraid of loneliness, but when i think of being lonely these days i'm no longer as afraid of it as before. Maybe i've grown stronger or perhaps my heart has weakened. I guess ill never know. I've seen relationship failures change people. I thought failure makes one learn to be stronger. But how do we become stronger? Do we become wary of the intentions of others? Or do we attempt to build a wall around ourselves to shelter our feelings from the rest of the world. I never understood why Chris wanted to be alone most of the time and i always found that to be stupid. But now i understand. Seems like breaking up makes you understand the situation better. Now i want to be alone, cold and unfeeling. Hidden away in my safe haven. Word of advice: never be the giving one, never be the fool.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
2:22 AM
Good week bad end
Its been a good week... Next week isn't gonna be this good...sigh... work piling from the office and school. I think i'm gonna collapse
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
12:28 AM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
An Excellent day
Today is suppose to be 11th April. Its a good day, note to self... Don't forget this day :)
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
2:09 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Creeper
I can just feel it creeping up on me, staking out, waiting, trying to hit me ont he back of my head... Stupid me... aging is taking an effect on me. I think that I think too much... sigh...
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
12:44 AM
Monday, April 09, 2007
Quick sand
I liken life to quicksand. Everything is gonna push you down but you got to struggle to keep your head above things.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
12:29 PM
It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry
I was blown away what could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything
And I can't do without
I try to see the good in life
But good things in life are hard to find
Blow it away, Blow it away
Can we make this something good
Well I tried to do it right this time around
Let's start over
I tried to do it right this time around
Its not over
There's a part of me that's dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you're the only one
Its not over
Taken all I could take and I cannot wait
Were wasting to much time
Being strong holding on
Cant let it bring us down
My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
Blow it Away, Blow it Away
Can we make this something good
Cause its all misunderstood
Well I tried to do it right this time around
Let's start over
I tried to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over
We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out
Let's start over
I tried to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over
Let's start over
Its not over, Oh yeah, yeah!
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
12:24 PM
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Count my blessings
I sat down and counted my blessings today. I looked back and saw some that came and went and i was happy to have them at least once in my life. I also see the ones that are coming and i look forward to it. I look back at the people i've lost and cry for them and i see the ones i have around and know that i should cherish them.
Baby i love you, counting down the days till we go to our happy place
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
10:30 PM
To my darling
Dear, i know you are working hard, i don't mind spending less time with you. I look forward to having the grey kitty with you. I'd say yes a million times over to being with u. Baby i know we missed spending time together and at times we fight, but it will all be worth it soon. I love you.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
1:11 AM
"I never should have let you go, I would do anything for another chance, i'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself" - Tina (The L Word)
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
1:04 AM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
World slowing down
I feel like im looking down into my life and seeing it as a third person. I look upon the things i have done and wished i could take back some. i wish for so much to stop the aching though i can't tell where the pain is coming from. Maybe its a build up maybe is not. I feel like a volcano about to explode and kill the people around me. I hope if i do, noone has to be around to see this side of me. People look at the exterior and pass judgement on you. I just laugh when i see this happening. Its like i'm playing a trick on them and making them believe what i want them to believe. Some people i wish i could rid, some i want to keep close and never let go. Some that i love and want to be with, some that i love but can't have around. My life is passing to fast for me to sit down and catch a breather because when i do, i may miss everything that's in front of me while pondering on the past.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
3:59 PM
Oh my, its been half a year since the last entry... so much has changed in this time. I've seen friendships break and relationship taking a 180 degree turn. Sickens me to see how much damage words can do to someone, even more than taking a knife and slitting your wrists. For one friend in particular, you are the sweetest person i know and seeing him hurt you like that just hurts me too. Perhaps its not my business but seeing you sad makes me sad too. It's easy for me to tell you to leave but trust me when i say i know how you feel. Funny that it's me of all people. Leaving is hard but getting on and over is even harder. All i can say is if you fall, i'll be here to catch you. And when it's all over, we'll laugh and cry together.
He awaits for me at the end of the tunnel
9:18 AM